The Big Stuff

I've settled into my room at Ama's flat in Basingstoke and this week my focus is sorting out the details of the two weeks I'll be spending with my cousin, Melinda. The internet hasn't been set up at the flat yet so I'm trying to figure out where to get access. I think I'll go hang out at a friend's place for the next couple of days to use her wireless.

Tonight I attended the bi-weekly prayer meeting at church. I'm always disappointed to see how few people attend – it's a friendly group of people to pray with and Emma does a great job of giving us something to focus our prayers on at each meeting. She's so passionate about communicating to people the importance of prayer but it seems to fall on deaf ears far too often. I told her I'm tempted to jump up at church some Sunday to give people a piece of my mind. These meetings aren't the boring prayer meetings people remember attending as kids – it's an opportunity to come before our Heavenly Father with other Christians and plead or praise or just be silent and listen. I wish couples would come together and parents would bring their kids but it just isn't a priority in people's lives. Don't get me started or I'll hop up on my soapbox and I won't step off for a while.

Tonight the focus was a challenge to pray for “the big stuff”. As soon as the topic was introduced I knew it would be a challenge for me.

I'm a wimp when I pray. I hate waiting or hearing “no”. I hate being disappointed. I believe that God can do anything and is all-powerful, but I just don't like asking for the really big stuff. I need to have more faith and approach my Saviour with boldness and pour out the desires of my heart, no matter how big, small, or seemingly foolish.

The people attending the meeting were divided into four groups of four or five people and we moved between four rooms with a suggested prayer “theme” for each room. Our second room was to pray for the big, global issues. As others prayed I suddenly felt the urge to pray for the work of the International Justice Mission, particularly their efforts to rescue child prostitutes. My first inclination was to laugh at myself and think, “Prostitution is the oldest industry – it will never be wiped out.” The response in my mind was an urging to be humble enough to ask for the impossible. I felt stupid to pray for such a huge issue out loud, but the urging continued and I started to feel tremendously burdened for these little girls who are trapped in slavery selling their bodies. I finally opened my mouth and couldn't help crying as I prayed. It was such a release to be willing to lay the heavy weight on my heart at the feet of Jesus – He's big enough for all our troubles and burdens or anything that makes our hearts ache.

The next room was focused on prayer for miracles and I sat in silence for quite some time. My brain covered many different areas of life but I couldn't think of anything that really qualified as a “miracle”. I finally thought of my brother and his legal battles to have access to his daughter. I realized that's the miracle closest to my heart – that Elleora's mom would be supportive of Adam and not make it such a struggle for him to be her dad. So I prayed for the seemingly impossible.

I need to have more courage to pray for the big stuff. I'm grateful to Emma for selecting this as the focus tonight. I needed to be humbled and remember that God wants us to be brave and crazy and ask for the big stuff. I need more faith. To develop that part of my relationship with Christ I need to be willing to not just hesitatingly ask for the stuff that I know God will probably give me anyway; I need to boldly ask for the big stuff.