I finally have both interviews booked. Both jobs are administrative positions with similar wages. The Reading job is a contract until at least April, possibly longer, but the commute will take over an hour each way. The Basingstoke job is a twelve-month contract and the commute should be about thirty minutes or less each way. First interview is tomorrow, Wednesday, August 5 at 11:00 a.m. in Reading and the other is Tuesday, August 11 at 11:00 a.m. in Basingstoke.
I've spent a lot of time thinking and praying about my job situation over the past few days and I've realized that I made the deadline of July 31 because I'm a coward who wanted God to hand me a decision on a silver platter. I didn't want the responsibility of making the decision myself; I wanted God to take responsibility for my "choice", no matter which way it ended up going. I can't help smiling when I look back at the circumstances on July 31 to see how God very creatively kept me hanging on for a decision, yet still being unable to completely rely on Him to determine the outcome. I definitely had to reevaluate my decision-making process. Yesterday I decided that I need to step up and make the decision to go home or stay here without giving God ultimatums and deadlines.
No, I don't know what my decision will be - whether to remain here or return to Canada - but I do know that as soon as I decided to step up and take responsibility for this decision a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I suddenly felt free. Prior to this realization I felt whiny and desperate to go home and felt utterly confused about what was happening in my life. I still have the desire to go home, but I'm much more open to staying here. I'm curious to see how these job interviews turn out! I don't have a timeline (though my money will only stretch another couple of weeks) and I don't have any strict criteria for making the decision. I may receive two job offers and still decide to return to Canada.
I need to take responsibility for this choice and trust God to give me wisdom. I need the courage to step out in faith and not hide behind ultimatums when I'm afraid to take the next step. Yes, in spite of all my adventures, I'm still sometimes a complete chicken.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
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1 comment:
"But solid food is for full-grown women, for those whose senses and mental faculties are trained by practice to discriminate and distinguish between what is morally good and noble and what is evil and contrary either to divine or human law." Amp. Not completely on the mark for your situation, but close.
Hugs,
Carol
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